Holy shit all hell just broke loose in the testing arena. Will update post with details once the situation is resolved.
I can haz Streltsy uniform for my mini-me? EDIT: Also, there should totally be faceoff between Stormfront and me. Who shall get the usage of the term "Soviet"!
Goddamn you motherfuckers, you really wowed me with your capacity for bravery, foolhardiness, and opportunism. Some extremely epic shit went down, and none of it was planned. So I'll explain what happened by first noting that this event took place during Round 2 between Match AA and AB. Thus all characters mentioned in this escapade had already fought and won their respective duels, and some had injuries to boot. You should also probably get a general idea of the layout of the dueling arena. So the entire map constitutes the object testing arena, and within it are four quadrants. All of the quadrants are connected to a cross-shaped land bridge by a series of actual raised bridges. On the west side there's a big open air chamber surrounded by lava, and a massive pool of water (used in water-based fights). On the east side there are two main structures: an open air, multi-story ramp, and a building that includes several individual dueling chambers and a large open courtyard on the top floor. For the purposes of the tournament I primarily use the dueling chambers inside the carved-in building. There are four floors in the main part of the structure, and an upper section that goes up much higher but doesn't include dueling chambers. At the bottom is a basement that connects all of the second and third floor dueling chambers together, while the top is more or less like a hotel lobby. So, with that in mind, here's what happened: I had accidentally spawned a hydra, a seven headed dragon-like creature, when I was spawning Mayor, because the hydra is only one space down from male humans. It proceeded to immediately decapitate slydessertfox, who was in the dueling chamber with it. Since it was staying put, I was like, whatever, and just moved the duel between Mayor and sly into an unoccupied dueling chamber on the same floor. So the duel goes fine and Mayor ends up being the victor, but then I notice that down the hall the hydra has exited its dueling chamber. Ronald, who was occupying the nearest chamber, walks out and is immediately charged by the hydra. Before Ronald can even act, three of the hydra's heads converge on him and bite off his legs and left hand. On the way to the ground, Ronald managed to slice across two of the hydra's necks with his axe, cutting them deeply. Ronald, however, was not long for the world. As soon as he hit the ground the other five heads began an extremely gory feast on Ronald's body, rending his lungs, stomach, and heart before he finally bled out. It was then that Mayor, having heard the ruckus (all of the combatants have grand master observation skills), emerged from his dueling chamber and was tackled to the ground by the hydra. Two of the heads struck Mayor while he lay pinned, biting his right foot and left arm off, but he managed to get in a severe thrashing with his scourge on the hydra's necks before succumbing to blood loss. LK, resident martial arts badass, had come down from his dueling chamber on the third floor (at this point, pretty much all of the duelists were starting to come out of their dueling rooms) to see the hydra in the stairwell. Being the stone-cold badass that he is, LK karate chopped that fucker and stunned the hydra with sheer awesome. A rain of kickassery commenced, with LK pummeling the hydra with high powered kicks, punches, and other assorted melee attacks. Once the hydra did finally come to its senses, it proceeded to bite both legs and the right arm off of LK, who was kicking its ass even while his limbs were being eaten. His one good left arm managed to inflict serious bruise and fracture damage to the throats of several heads, causing the hydra to have difficulty breathing. Even when the hydra bit off his left hand, LK used his mouth as a weapon and bit at the hydra's feet. Unfortunately, this was not to last, and LK bled out with no major limbs still attached to his body. Now, during this fight, there was also a lot of incidental shit going on in the dueling building. Kali and teremaster encountered each other in the hallway on one side of the building, while Lucy, Demondaze, and matt ran into each other on the other. Teremaster might have presented a larger threat to Kali, but the first move in the battle ended up with tere's hammering hand severed and his weapon launched across the hallway. In a series of swift slashes and stabs, Kali cut off teremaster's offhand arm and ran him through with his electrum longsword. Lucy, Demon, and matt had entered close melee range at this point, with Lucy caught in between Demon on her front and matt to her back. Demon attacked first and managed to pierce Lucy's collarbone with his scimitar before losing his several fingers on his offhand to Lucy's greataxe. During their little scuffle, matt had taken both of his steel daggers and rammed them through Lucy's ankles. Pinned to the ground, Lucy really didn't stand a chance when Demon perforated her lungs and heart with his scimitar. Demon's scimitar still stuck in Lucy's body, matt took immediate and deadly action, beheading Demon between his daggers. The battle in the basement ended with Demon's head launched into an as-of-yet unused dueling chamber, and matt covered in blood (but unscathed). As Chelsea, Lennins Beard, and card had escaped the underground portion of the dueling chamber and emerged topside, where they all wandered around looking for an exit to the object testing arena, Kali and matt both made their way towards the top. Card and Chelsea crossed each others' paths and began a fight, though Chelsea (using a 2 handed sword and having only one hand remaining after her duel) was disadvantaged from the start. Card parried successfully and used his counterstrike to sever Chelsea's left foot, sending her to the ground. While she lay on the ground, he struck out at her right leg and cracked her steel greaves inwards, which punctured an artery. With limited power and reach, Chelsea attempted to attack Card from the prone position, but he dodged away. Combined with around twenty minutes (in-game) of continuous blood loss from losing her hand in her duel (the very first on the tournament schedule), the severed artery drained Chelsea of blood in a matter of moments. Just as this duel ended and Card started heading across the bridge to the northeast quadrant, Kali emerged from the innards of the dueling building and ran into Lennins Beard. The naked sadomasochist was no serious threat to Kali, who parried the first lash that Lennins Beard made and then used the counterstrike to sever his whip hand. While Lennins Beard tried to strike at Kali with his offhand, Kali stabbed him in the gut several times. Still, Lennins Beard got in one good punch on Kali's sword hand and did serious bruise damage to it before he was run through the eye with the electrum longsword. During this whole encounter, matt had emerged onto the surface himself, and headed straight for the duelists upon coming outside. Just as Kali pierced his sword through Lennins Beard's eye, matt stabbed him in the right arm. This blow severed a motor nerve in Kali's sword arm and subsequently severed his grip on the longsword (which lay in the eyesocket of LB). With one of his daggers matt stabbed Kali in the right leg, and with the other he stabbed in Kali's back. Spinal cord severed, Kali had no way to retaliate as matt finished him off with a strike to the temple. Card had managed to put a lot of distance between himself and matt (now the only other surviving duelist), and was now sprinting down into the underground tunnel that connected the dueling building with the open-air ramp. Matt gave chase, but he was nowhere near Card when the hydra showed up. At the end of the tunnel lay the monster, all seven heads still attached (though some just barely), but Card wasn't scared. He had bested not only his opponent, but also Chelsea, and wasn't about to be taken down by some punk-ass lizard. Card charged straight at the beast, sword arm raised, plate mail still fully intact. And then he was decapitated. One of the hydra's heads simply reached out slightly further than Card could reach with his sword and bit his head off. As Card's body tumbled unceremoniously to the floor, Matt entered the tunnel. Seeing the beast, he immediately sprinted for the high ground and an open battlefield. The hydra gave chase, and before long both were in the southeast quadrant courtyard, readying themselves for battle. Matt struck first, getting a solid cut on the hydra's seventh neck, and nearly cut it off altogether. In response, the hydra bit Matt's left foot off, but even in the prone position Matt was a threat, as he dragged his blades along the underbelly of the beast. As its guts began spilling out onto the arena floor the hydra used its remaining healthy heads to attack Matt, tearing off his left arm and right leg. The hydra then lifted him into the air with one of its mouths and clamped down hard on his torso, rending his lungs and stomach. Matt died only moments later from blood loss, but the hydra was fatally wounded. Through the combined efforts of Ronald, Mayor, LK, and Matt, the beast was finally brought down, perishing with several duelist's limbs (most notably Card's head) still in its jaws. I mean damn folks, that shit was just awesome. The rounds themselves were great, but this felt like a fucking fight for survival against everyone else. And the best part is that NOBODY WON. Not even the fucking mythical beast of doom. Anyways, Round 2 is just about concluded and I'm going to update the brackets to reflect the outcomes of the matches so far, but with more stuff like this I think we have a lot to look forward to.
LK is a really dedicated guy to be biting at a hydra's feet while he has no limbs left. Only the absence of his own blood could stop him from biting that hydra to death. R.I.P
I may have died but I'm proud of Chelsea, even with one hand missing (using a two handed sword) and then a missing foot and severed artery she tried to fight til the end.
I just noticed, Card and me get an official match. How will the match go when we're both uninjured I wonder?
Maybe Toast can drop down with the butter facing the ground, Soviet will get angry because he won't be able to eat ... oh wait
