What if you where a different Nationality?

DISCLAIMER: NO RACISM IN THIS THREAD, TRY TO BE MATURE AND THIS IS FOR JOKES. THIS IS NOT TO OFFEND ANYONE. IF ONE PERSON GETS OFFENDED I WILL PERSONALLY ASK CHELSEA TO DELETE OR LOCK THIS THREAD!

So, If you could change your nationality why and what reason?

If I was Dutch I would go shoot up with a hooker in a tulip field near a windmill. And wooden shoes, we would need some wooden shoes.

If I was Croatian, I would have a relationship with the croatian student in my school, fly back to my Croatian homeland, and become a goatfarmer.

Oh and laugh at Serbians because we kicked their ass.

If I was Belgian (which I'm not)... I could joke about the Dutch and be ashamed because we'd elections 1 and a half year ago and we still don't have friggin' government!

Update: OMG! They got finally got that agreement! It took more than 500 days!

If I were an argentinian, I would constantly say to the brazilians that the best soccer player ever was Maradona and still brag on about Messi and how he got the best player of the world award and say that Neymar will never reach his top class soccer. But I would know these are all lies, but my argentinian pride would still make me believe in that.

If I was Australian, my fear of spiders would not exist...or be much, much worse. One of the two.

If I was white, I would go pick crops, just so I could massively disappoint my upper-middle class parents, who expected me to go to Harvard.

If I was British, I would be an Ultra Nationalist.

If I was Greek, I would set things on fire and kill people.

If i was British, I would not brush my teeth and drink lots of tea.

Thanks for organising my saturday night. Damn, I haven't got any tea, but there's plenty of toothpaste in the house right now. I'll just have to leave out the mouthwash and drink loads of coffee!

Nationality is such a subjected term, i find nationalism and or going 'im american and different so better then you" to be so 1930s .

You word it as if tea is bad. This is wrong.
Tea is delicious, it's just you Americans can't make it right. A nation that engages in such barbaric acts as microwaving water should be banned from touching tea.

Microwaving water?! Heresy! Now I understand that stupid Yorkshire Tea advert

I agree, american tea sucks. The best for me is British, German, and most of all Chinese.

If I was Israeli I would be traumatized by my experiences in the army then write crappy poetry.

If I was from the Netherlands I would not spank my children because it is illegal.