Fiction's Pitfalls

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Imperial1917, Jan 15, 2012.

  1. Imperial1917 City-States God of War

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    A post by Lighthouse reminded me of this.
    Not many people stop to think about how many parts of fictional stories are, in fact, frowned upon by modern society.
    This tread is dedicated to any examples of this.

    I'll start us off...
    *Luke and Vader battle before the Emperor*
    *The CPS arrive*
    CPS Officer: "Sir! Sir! Are you this child's father?"
    Vader: "Yes, I am his father."
    CPS Officer: "Are you aware, sir, that attacking a child is a form of child abuse and is prosecutable by law?"
    Vader: "But... but..."
    Emperor: "Who dare challenges the Sith?"
    CPS Officer: "Sir, are you this man's employer?"
    Emperor: "Why, yes... he is my apprentice..."
    CPS Officer: "And are you aware that your employee has been beating his children?!"
    Emperor: "What? No! No! I am as shocked and appalled as you are! I mean, I didn't know that he did that at all..."
    Vader: "This is preposterous! I am his father, but he was adopted by his uncle!"
    CPS Officer: " So you admit that you have been beat another person's child! And have you been paying child support?!"
    Vader: "I didn't know until a few days ago!"
    CPS Officer: "So you haven't been paying! Have you arrainged for back pay?"
    *To be continued*
  2. Viking Socrates I am Mad Scientist

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    WHAT HAPPENS NEXT? I MUST FUCKING KNOW.
  3. Imperial1917 City-States God of War

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    The purpose of the thread is for people to present their own pitfalls of fiction, not for any one person or storyline to ramble on into the twilight.
  4. Karakoran Well-Known Member

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    I see what your doing here.

    So for instance, how in the Lord of the Rings, Sauroman, or whatever the fuck it is, was attacked by a small force of humans and elves.
    The rational response, as always, is to send out literally everyone.
    Rather than just killing them, he spends about two hours talking to them and slowly getting his troops around them.
    He then leaves Mt. Doom's Forge, the only place that the enemy can stop him from, without a single guard for miles.

    That mistake was repeated a lot, for instance that one wizard guy in Isengard. He needed wood, so he began chopping through forests that he KNEW had Ents that would die to protect them. Knowing the Ents would probably attack when they found out, he sent his entire army to take Helm's Deep.

    Now, he could've sent say, two thirds of that to Helm's Deep, besieged it for a month and starved them out, then won. Meanwhile keeping a third back to defeat the Ents. Rather, he wasted his entire army on a battle that he did not need to fight. Even worse, he left his life's work undefended and when the Ents came, he was surprised it didn't work out.

    What a stupid general. Not to mention how if he just sent out half of what he was building up beforehand against Rohan, not burned down the Ent forest, and won the rather bloodless siege there he would've had it in the bag.

    OR, knowing that Helm's Deep was a very big fort in the past for the people of Rohan, he could've just sent a few thousand guys to take Helm's Deep before the King of Rohan even got there. He did not show great foresight.
  5. Imperial1917 City-States God of War

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    Umm... I guess that you could put that under the umbrella of what I am doing here...
    But it is more applying modernday concepts to fictional universes... like the CPS.
  6. Karakoran Well-Known Member

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    Like the Environmental Protection Agency going after the guys from Jaws?
    Imperial1917 likes this.
  7. Achtung Kommunisten! Well-Known Member

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    Surely there was an Environmental Protection Agency in the Jaws universe (which seems pretty much identical to ours except for the nastier sharks).
  8. Romulus211 Proconsul

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    Finding nemo, fish can't speak English or human languages.
  9. battleearl Well-Known Member

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    The same goes for the insects in a Bug's life...
  10. Viking Socrates I am Mad Scientist

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    or Toy Story.......unless they speak English when im not around.
  11. UnitRico Well-Known Member

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    Oh man, I can go on for hours on things like these:
    - If mankind is new in the ME universe, and is looked down upon by most other alien races, why is the human English language the language used by all alien species?
    - In Assassin's Creed 2, some important places can only be reached because of construction work or collapsed buildings/natural formations. How the hell did they get there when the scaffoldings etc. weren't there?
  12. UnholyKnight800 Well-Known Member

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    And somehow I quoted my reply.
  13. UnitRico Well-Known Member

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    But...but...the lip movement...and...and...
  14. UnholyKnight800 Well-Known Member

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    It's a video game Rico, I'm sure in RL it would be more complicated than that.
  15. UnitRico Well-Known Member

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    Well, yeah, that's true. But how am I supposed to bash on video game logic now?
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  16. yuri2045 A Marines Biologist

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    How in the hell does Spongebob fry hamburguers in a restaurant under water?? Wouldn't it be all wet?
  17. Viking Socrates I am Mad Scientist

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    How does Spongebob have fire under the water or even a beach under the water.......well actually the 2nd one does exist so nevermind.
  18. yuri2045 A Marines Biologist

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    I wonder how they drink pure water under the sea water.
  19. Viking Socrates I am Mad Scientist

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    Actually How does

    Crab+Crab=Whale.
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  20. UnitRico Well-Known Member

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    Now that we're on the subject on comics:
    Why doesn't Donald Duck ever wear pants, except when he goes swimming? He's a fucking duck.

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