From the quote in one of the dark brotherhood missions, " When life gives you lemons...... You kill a Clown. " But I want to hear your best when life gives you lemons line. Here are some of mine. When life gives you lemons you forget about Oblivion When life gives you lemons you take an arrow to the knee. etc etc etc.
When life gives you lemons ask for fucking oranges. What a curious question... Well I enjoy moonlit nights, long walks on the beach, knitting and unicorns. In fact I once took a seaside stroll on a moonlit night and discovered a unicorn, which I stabbed in the throat with a crochet needle. I'm a woman of simple, yet refined tastes. (I love the dark brotherhood)
When life gives you lemons you throw em back at life. When Chuck Norris gives you lemons, you take them and say, "Thank you".
When life gives you lemons YOU MURDER THERE FAMILY, or the more appropriate term, when life gives you lemons SINK THE TITANIC. or as the Ottomans say, when life gives you Lesbos, CONQUER GREECE.
When life gives you lemons pay foreign children a penny a day to make lemonade, then undercut the prices in the US to create a monopoly on lemonade and all lemon based products.
When life gives you lemons try to read Dostoevsky and Faulkner at the same time while comprehending the depth of Hemingway's Great Nada, all the while, of course, trying to comprehend what is wall and what is boulder and trying to figure out why Godot never comes and why lemons are only good for making lemonade.
When life gives you lemons...you create lemonade and perfect it until it is of high quality and begin to sell it at a moderate low price in order to attract customers to your lemonade stand and thus gain more profit because of its reputation of being a great but fair priced lemonade drink, next you advertise your new found successes in local newspapers to attract more paying customers. With the influx of paying customers you then go around and buy out the less then successful lemonade stands. Eventually you are left with the only lemonade stand and thus a successful small business take over has taken place. While this is all going on you start to get the word out to bigger companies that they need to sell your lemonade to gain more profit, you eventually settle a deal with a restaurant business who has agreed to sell your lemonade and thus gain you more profit and expose more people to the wonders of your lemonade. which to make sure no competition arises you quickly buy out small local lemonade stands and absorb them into your lemonade business, eventually then you take the lemonade and make Lemonade Cola and lace alcohol with lemonade in order to sell it to the common man in their homes, thus gaining more profit with the combine powers of your lemonade cola/alcohol company as well as it being sold in a restaurant chain which by this point you should be able to make it multiple restaurant chains the stocks of your lemonade company will hit all-time highs and attract more investment. your lemonade will be sold at a national level, but you do not stop there eventually you branch out globally first by buying more lemon growing farms, (like in Australia, Chile, Brazil Italy, Spain, India and Japan) and then you hire the working classes of the regions to go till your lemon land and harvest them. You pay the workers with fair wages/workers unions in order to not get workers’ rights lawsuits or any worker's strikes you also use this as a way to pump up the prices of your lemonade based products which at this point are loved and more importantly bought all over the Americas, Asia, and Europe. Now you might be content with the millions of dollars you have, huge global stock and all that fun jazz. But what if you......got some oranges or joined with a fairly largely successful banana or mango businesses and you added them to your alcohol and cola and now owned restaurants, hmm. with this you created one of the largest fruit based companies in the world (if not the largest) and call it something catchy like United fruit company or standard fruit company with this the agricultural based economies of the world will get depended on you for survival, with this you influence the state of election to what you want and create banana republics throughout the world, of coerce you will give the people democracy and allow elections but all the candidates of the country know who they have to deal with. You then get hired by the nation to manage their postal service and become the number 1 employer in all of central Americas. Also make sure not to get caught bribing state officials you don't want a "Bannagate" on your hands, now if one of the government doesn't fall in line and wants to say "nationalize" the fruit company what you do is simple, you go back to the main military power the united states (which is where your HQ is located of course) and convince the congress that you helped get elected with your swarms of money that this is a rogue nation and must be dealt with, either by sanctions and or military intervention for the goods of the people who are being exploited (mind you its why it’s better to start with a fair trade/workers union in the countries you "exploit" in order to at least draw some backlash away from your multi-national business and to prevent from mass crippling strikes and debt) you know do a couple of Operation: PBSUCCESS and make sure the enclave economies you set up around the world stay save, yeah and workers’ rights too. It’s also good to be a part of a "law firm" such as Sullivan and Cromwell, and investment management firms such Apollo global. And from this small little lemonade stand you have now grown to the biggest producer of fruits and vegetables in the world having a net income of 85 million dollars, and market revenue of almost 7 billion dollars, as well as influence all over the world in banana republics and even in the great military power the USA. Also my net worth of now 3 billion dollars can't hurt either, oh and the fact I’m one of the biggest international employers. That is what you do when life gives you lemons you make a good business and get the cash a flowing. Actually screw waiting for life or the government to give me lemons let’s get this started now, screw welfare, screw waiting viva la Capitalism....and fair trade.....and workers syndicates too....and uhh yeah Lemons. "The purpose of the economy is to serve the true needs of society: prosperity, social stability, and contentment” quoted by Sir James Goldsmith.
What?! This is in Portal 2!? (the 'old' Aperture Science logo) Anyways, when life gives you lemonades.... wait a minute, the state gave me these lemonades, and I must process these lemonades, for the state!
If you remember, you here about the lemons in portal 2 when your in the old part of Aperture Science.
Yes, I know, but I think I missed it, I'm pretty sure I hunted down every last piece of funny and rediculous stuff in Portal 2, but apparantly, I missed this one.
