Bad Pun Contest

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Barbarianman, Feb 18, 2012.

  1. Barbarianman Member

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    I want to hear the best bad puns you have

    The best pun will get a free fake cookie
  2. ironchin Well-Known Member

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    Sleeping is so easy, I could do it with my eyes closed.
    Aww yeah!
  3. Barbarianman Member

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    Need a Ark

    I Noah guy
    slydessertfox likes this.
  4. Vassilli1942 Well-Known Member

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    Energizer Bunny arrested - charged with battery.
    A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
  5. ironchin Well-Known Member

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    This is turning into a dance off kind of contest.

    There was a massive fire at the campsite. The heat was in tents.
    You just got served, bitch! The ball is in your court
  6. Barbarianman Member

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    I saw a sign outside a drug rehab center

    It said keep of the grass
  7. Vassilli1942 Well-Known Member

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    A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter.

    Practice safe eating - always use condiments.
  8. Barbarianman Member

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    I wanted to write a book about the IRS but it was too taxing
  9. UnholyKnight800 Well-Known Member

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    Why don't you use a vacuum cleaner?

    Vacuum cleaners suck!
  10. slydessertfox Total War Branch Head

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    I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
  11. Barbarianman Member

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    How does moses make his tea?

    Hebrews it
  12. RickPerryLover strawberries oh sweet Jesus strawberries

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    What just happened at the WTC?

    An aircraft just went plane threw it!
  13. Imperial1917 City-States God of War

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    I'm pretty sure that it got stuck in the building.
    Fail pun.
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  14. RickPerryLover strawberries oh sweet Jesus strawberries

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    Fail pun indead.
  15. ddbb089 Well-Known Member

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    The guy that invented the knock-knock joke deserves a "no-bell" prize

    BA DUMM TSSS
  16. LeonTrotsky Well-Known Member

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    Wow, someone who actually knows what's puny. No, legit, most people have know idea what puns are. Here is a definition:
    A pun is a figure of speech which consists of a deliberate confusion of similar words or phrases for rhetorical effect, whether humorous or serious. A pun can rely on the assumed equivalency of multiple similar words (homonymy), of different shades of meaning of one word (polysemy), or of a literal meaning with a metaphor. Bad puns are often considered to be cheesy.

    Shakespearian puns:
    1. Richard III (Act I scene 1) “Now is the winter or our discontent
    Made glorious summer by this sun of York...”
    2. Romeo and Juliet (Act I scene IV) Romeo: “Give me a torch: I am not for this ambling.
    Being but heavy, I will bear the light.”
    3. Romeo and Juliet (Act I scene IV) Mercutio: “Nay, gentle Romeo, we must have you dance.”
    Romeo: “Not I, believe me. You have dancing shoes With nimble soles; I have a soul of lead So stakes me to the ground I cannot move.”
    4. Hamlet (Act I scene II)
    Claudius: “...But now, my cousin Hamlet, and my son...”
    Hamlet: [aside] “A little more than kin, and less than kind.”
    5. Much Ado About Nothing (Act II scene I) Beatrice: “The count is neither sad, nor sick, nor merry, nor well: but civil, count; civil as an
    orange, and something of that jealous complexion.”
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  17. ddbb089 Well-Known Member

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    I was going to look for my lost watch but I never found the time.

    Why does Waldo wear stripes?
    Becouse he dosen't want to be spotted.

    [IMG]
  18. Vassilli1942 Well-Known Member

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    Well thanks.
  19. ironchin Well-Known Member

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    I don't think anything posted here thus far doesn't qualify. Correct me if I'm wrong.

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