Corrupt-a-wish! game

Granted, but people get noobtubed constantly.

I wish life was more like a film musical.

Granted, but you would be killed by a horrified crowd.

I wish I could shoot rainbows out of my ass.

Granted, but that is even more shitty than stage musicals.

I wish Hanako was my waifu.

EDIT: GODAMMIT!!!! Fine. Fuck you.
Granted, but Kaiserreich happens.

Granted, but you get a heart attack and die.

I wish life was a Bollywood musical.

Granted, but that is even shittier than the already shitty film musicals.

I wish I was immune to heart attacks.

Granted, but you get AIDs and die as a result of it.

I wish I had the power to create nuclear fusion engines.

Granted, but an giant beloni sandwich hamburger monster would eat your face.

I wish I was more then just the God of McDonalds.

Granted, but the weight of legal documents weigh you down.

I wish I was a potato.

Granted, but I would fry you.

I wish I was an undefeatable a Bond villan.

Granted, but Austin Powers defeats you.

I wish I was GlaDos

Granted, but your cynacism overloads and you explode

I wish I was spaghetti

Granted, but spaghetti is made by Italians, and soon, a burger attacks and destroys you.

I wish I was Cave Johnson.

Granted, but GlaDos kills you.
I wish I had superpowers.

Fine, but an evil supervillain kills you before you have the chance to use them

I wish I had an amazing gaming rig

Granted, but you would fuck up the ending of an awesome series and everyone kills you for it.

I wish I could shoot trains out of my ass.

granted, but you get constipated

I wish I could swallow trains

Granted, but you would lose your balls and brains.

I wish I was as awesome as Mordin.

Granted, but you can't sing Gilbert and Sullivan, and thus are unawesome.

I wish ME3 had a good ending.

Granted, but it would suck anyway.

I wish I new the meaning of the word shisno.

Granted, but Shisno silences you so that nobody ever finds out.

I wish I knew how many people repeated wishes on this thread.