jokes

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by bender, Jun 3, 2012.

  1. bender Well-Known Member

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    i wanted to make a thread about jokes.
    just post jokes you think are funny or witty.

    here are some examples of jokes i find funny.

    1.Three blind mice walk into a bar, but they are unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from it would be exploitative.

    2.There's an Irishman, a homosexual, and a Jew standing at a bar. What a fine example of an integrated community.

    3.Why was six afraid of seven? It wasn't. Numbers are not sentient and thus incapable of feeling.


    4.Knock, Knock.

    Who's there?

    Dave.

    Dave who?

    Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.
  2. Epiccheesegrater Well-Known Member

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    Why did the chicken cross the road?
  3. bender Well-Known Member

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    to get to the aids clinic on the other side.
  4. Epiccheesegrater Well-Known Member

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    My dog's got no nose.
  5. bender Well-Known Member

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    How many members of a certain demographic group does it take to perform a specified task?

    An finite number: one to perform the task and the remainder to act in a manner stereotypical of the group in question.
  6. Chives Newest Member

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    How many bending units does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
  7. C_G Well-Known Member

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    0011010101101010101011101011110101010010110011110101001010010010001010?

    111010010101011010100101010001010101011110010100!!!!
  8. Achtung Kommunisten! Well-Known Member

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    None, because they can see in the dark, unlike you puny humans?
    I'm wrong aren't I; that answer isn't the least bit funny.
    bender likes this.
  9. Epiccheesegrater Well-Known Member

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    What did the robot say to the centipede?
  10. BattalionOfRed Mr. Fred Battaliono

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  11. Epiccheesegrater Well-Known Member

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    No, the robot said, 'Stop being a centipede!'. It's funny because the robot...he doesn't have any arms.
  12. BattalionOfRed Mr. Fred Battaliono

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    Mine was funnier, because it was referring to a Human Centipede. Which is absolutely disgusting.
    Shisno likes this.
  13. Epiccheesegrater Well-Known Member

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    That's not funny, that's just sick. Like the film.
  14. BattalionOfRed Mr. Fred Battaliono

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    Well, I say good sir, it is both funny and sickening.
  15. Epiccheesegrater Well-Known Member

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    Clearly, you have a grim and morbid sense of humour.
  16. MayorEmanuel Do not weep, for salvation is coming.

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  17. BattalionOfRed Mr. Fred Battaliono

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    Not realistically, however on this occasion I felt the need to post what I posted out of opportunity. The joke was wide open.
  18. Onyxja Well-Known Member

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    Alex Tran is number one.
  19. bender Well-Known Member

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    what did the deaf orphan get for chritsmas?

    cancer.
  20. Epiccheesegrater Well-Known Member

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    I think MayorEmanuel was right, this thread is blatant theft from anti-joke.com. Why bender, why?
    BattalionOfRed likes this.

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