Keep calm and zip it...

This is pretty long, so I suggest you clear your schedules. Also, I have my own opinions, but this isn't relevant to those, so go wild.

Now, it's a sad day when I have to step in here, and set things straight. When shit's erupting so violently that it takes me, a humble rabbi (as well as a beast of a man) to save the day. Now, if you haven't had your head in the sand lately, I'm assuming you've noticed that we have a bit of rumble going on. Normally, people would fail to give a shit, and carry on posting their shitty memes, slanted opinions, and various other rhetoric that makes other forums run so smoothly. The problem lies with on issue. We have small user base. So, inevitably, whenever anything happens ever, it seeps like a infectious diseases into every corner of the community, tainting every opinion, and making everything all unpleasant and shit.

Here's the thing. This rumble, as I call it, seems to have divided us into several groups. By now, I'm sure you know the various factions, so I won't go into it, but that's that. There's also people who don't give a shit, but they tend to be the exception. Also, Pedro, but he's probably off railing 9 women right now, so no one disturb him. We'd hate to ruin his mojo. Anyway, these groups seem to carry two tones. People who are more defensive and sensitive, and people who are bolder with their words, and believe they carry less weight. Now, I won't lie, I certainly have a bias. I usually agree with those who are more free with their words, and don't particularly take much over the internet personally. But that's me, and this isn't about me.

You can trace said conflict back quite a bit. It's pretty much been the headliner since Che bit the bullet, and we got all this fancy bureaucratic stuff. The problem is, that it has no intention of going away, and the community isn't helping. I would say the vast majority of you have picked a side at this point, including me, and, let's be honest. We carry this conflict now, and into the future. Still, it was funny for a while, but then things got all srs business, and quasi-retarded. The humor has faded, and now everyone takes this way too seriously. It still has it's bright spots, but the honeymoon phase is over, and it feels like we are running in circles now.

By now, you must be asking me "But Matt, how can I fight the wave of stupidity and incompetence that threatens to overwhelm the very fabric of the universe at any moment?". Well, children, there are two answers to that. One, is to simply stop giving a shit, and dragging it into everything. As in, just don't mention it. Like, ever. That simple. The other, which I feel will appeal to the more prolific of you more, is to close this wound up, and let it fester until it dries out. And yes, the colorful vocabulary is necessary. By that I mean, keep it confined. Leave it to those who insist on heading this argument, and let them do the dance into hell, with each other's balls firmly grasped. Because guess what? You don't have to dance with them! You can talk to them, and share their opinions, but you don't have to share them with everyone else! Amazing! It's like removing a cancerous tumor from the back of your head! So that's my advice. Either play your cards behind closed doors, or fold and get the hell out. Leaving those who insist on playing to their game. That G-d damn easy. Darn tooten.

But, that's not my last tidbit of info. If you've read this far, feel free to take this time to masturbate, grab a drink, or finish some homework. You are growing boys and girls after all. Done now? Good. Now, let me finish. The final, and last thing, is to stop taking this so G-d damn seriously, especially the elections and stuff. Don't get me wrong, if this is your hobby, go for it. But don't treat this like Parliament, because it isn't. Don't let this be a major social outlet. And for the love of G-d, don't act devastated when the online politicking doesn't go your way. Go play outside or something first, before you let this weigh you down like that. But that's all I'm going to say on that.

Now, this was quite the pain to type, but I consider it my gift to you, children. Now, if you will excuse me, I have to go wipe my other children's asses. So, keep clean, stay sharp, and if you feel like a retard while typing something, well, close your browser. Also, um, use protection. Just a lesson from Uncle Matt.

Love,
Common Sense

As long as teh broniez are awsmez on this wicked bad site I am happy for everypony and wish our eternal leader Princes Celestia to have good rein over her kingdome.

Thanks, uncle matt.

And I disagree. I think it's quite funny.

Great speech there, uncle matt.

It was funny, then everyone got retarded.

Wisdom

This is clearly the work of fucking genius right here.


*Well time to go fuck it up*

I have a solution

What if we just turn down the level of fucks we give to zero.

The retard proxy war continues. Are you man enough to prevent it from tearing us apart? Enlist now!

Nah bro I want to see this status quo die in flames.

Viva La Revolution!

That might now be such a bad idea. At this point, it looks likes it's best to sit back, have a drink, and watch everyone tug on each other's testicles and cry.

So long as you aren't to rough with me I'll let you have the first pull.

Jew circlejerk incoming.

Hey lets make this interesting, Lets go back to square 1

O.K COMMUNIST FIRE UP THE CHE CANNON.

You are all horrible autistic retards!



Erm... hello. I don't believe we've ever met before. Where am I and why are there so many twelve year olds here?

Oh no Ronald don't use---- who are you guys?

All on team Communist say I

All on team Kali/Capitalist say Something intelligent.