The Church of Napoleon

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Karakoran, Jul 5, 2012.

  1. Karakoran Well-Known Member

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    This thread is dedicated to the proud and holy Church of Napoleon, blessed be his name. It was Napoleon, who first came down in the year 2011 Anno Napoleon, was cast astray by his peers. But only at first. For soon we learned of his piety and holiness. As he created more and more of his spawn we learned of his Godly prows and the sheer might of his will.

    Though Napoleon's first attempt to bring us his light was a failure, it was only for a time. For Napoleon returned and returned so that we may be enlightened to his glorious piety.

    -

    It was Napoleon's Second Spawn, Dr. House, who brought us the knowledge of the beginning. In the beginning there was only Napoleon. And from him spawned everything. Strongest of his spawn was Lucky who had a divine power that near rivaled Napoleon. Napoleon loved Lucky, but Lucky betrayed him and used his power for evil creating the JosefVStalin Forum. When Napoleon learned of this, he was enraged and forced Lucky into the body of a mere mortal who was henceforth called fucking faggot.

    Napoleon raised up his fist as to smash away this Forum but then he looked again and said, 'I need not purge them, they will destroy themselves'. And he placed down his fist upon his chair's armrest and watched us forever more.

    -

    It was Napoleon's Third Spawn, Otto Von Bismark, who brought us the knowledge of the End Times. The Napocolypse, as some call it. In the end there will be only Darkness. A Darkness so dark that not even the blessed Napoleon can see through it. As it encroaches upon us, all true followers of Napoleon shall be saved, while the nonbelievers drown in fear and terror so strong that their mortal minds shall collapse.

    Seal 1: He who's number be the first shall be banished, and the first seal shall be broken.
    Seal 2: The city of London shall burn in holy fire until none remains, and the second seal shall be broken.

    There are 5 other seals that exist before the final hour of our time, but they are unknown. We can only wait until Napoleon's next Spawn to perhaps hear of this news.
  2. Tyum2 Active Member

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    I am mind fucked
    You sir are a pure genius
  3. Thefatkid Well-Known Member

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    Sounds legit.
  4. Benerfe Well-Known Member

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    In Napoleon we trust.
  5. Thefatkid Well-Known Member

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    This should be on the wikia.
  6. RickPerryLover strawberries oh sweet Jesus strawberries

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    Oh Napoleon.... those were the days. They sucked.
  7. BattalionOfRed Mr. Fred Battaliono

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    Da fuck, man?
  8. Thefatkid Well-Known Member

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    I DETECT A DOUBLE POST! :p
  9. BattalionOfRed Mr. Fred Battaliono

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    I DETECT A SERVER ERROR IN WHICH DUPLICATED MY POST! Or something... :p
  10. Thefatkid Well-Known Member

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    Lies spread by the Illuminati...
  11. Leonard Well-Known Member

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    That doesn't make any sense, that means he appeared 2011 years ago. I think you mean the year 1 A.N., which would be 2011 A.D./BCE.
  12. Daddy92 Well-Known Member

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    @Karakoran
    its not a real religion without the commandments!
  13. Achtung Kommunisten! Well-Known Member

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    I already found the link between EmperorNapoleon and the bible.
  14. Onyxja Well-Known Member

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    I'a Dr House! I'a Otto Von Bismark! Napoleon F'htagn!
    [IMG]
    yuri2045, Benerfe and Karakoran like this.
  15. Imperial1917 City-States God of War

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    You forgot Abe Lincoln.
  16. RickPerryLover strawberries oh sweet Jesus strawberries

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    Oh God that was a bad one...
  17. Viking Socrates I am Mad Scientist

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    Did you mention Ezio or Nostalgia.
  18. Karakoran Well-Known Member

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    True to Napoleon!
  19. The Shaw Rawnald Gregory Erickson the Second

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    Bismark was before house you fucker.
  20. Romulus211 Proconsul

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    Theres a story behind bismark...it was napoleons original forum account. So napoleon was a multi.



    WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW?!

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