Corrupt-a-wish! game

Granted, but he gets banned.

I wish for @dylan522p to return.

Granted, but you've changed who you wish to return. So... that's... bullshit.

I wish for Cereal that was always super cereal.

Granted, but someone puts a rat in your cereal.

I wish Freddie kept his title.

Granted, but you make me worried that my title was taken away.

I wish you didn't give me that frightening heart attack.

Granted, but then my attempt on your life would never have happened.

I wish for 100 billion dollars.

Granted but it is in nickels... and is dropped on you by a crane.

I wish for the ability to not give a fuck about people that constantly dick me.

Granted, but then people think you are an emotionless drone.

I wish people made Game of Thrones references constantly.

Granted, but you end up getting Iced

I wish I had the ability to make a better reference there

Granted, but very few people get it.

I wish I had an inexhaustible supply of everything required for a satisfactory life.

Granted, but then you no longer want to live.

I wish for da ebul commueneest mooselamez 2 bee gonn.

Granted, but national socialists take their place.

I wish Britain wasn't a parliamentary constitutional monarchy.

Granted, but then it would be ruled by ALIENS!

I wish we had more emoticons and site themes.

Granted, but soon people speak in a strange form of l33tsp33k which nobody can understand.

I wish for an ornate letter-opener.

Granted, but it is fragile and breaks before you can use it.

I wish for pie flavored pie.

Granted, but you get hit by a train.

I wish I had a fast motorised transportation device at my disposal.

Granted, but it falters and results in nasty stuff.

I wish for motivation

Granted, but you become stupidly optimistic and die as a result of it.

I wish for the ability to maintain full consciousness in dreams, as well as having complete control over what happens.

Granted, since you have complete control you only wish for one thing every time, a ride on a store entrance kiddie ride, in which you have to dispense your own quarters.

I wish for more quarters (currency).

Granted, but you are given the quarters via a 100 ton bag of quarters is dropped on you.

I wish I had a chocolate chip cookie.

Granted, but the chips are your least favourite type of chocolate.

I wish for enough money to bailout the world economy.