Corrupt-a-wish! game

Granted, but then the game ends and everybody hates you.

I wish for Chaos.

Granted, but someone steals it from you.

I wish that I was Phoenix Wright.

Granted, but people remember that you cheated evidence law when you brought down Chief Gant, and you are stripped of your status as a defense attorney.

I wish for a private army.

Granted, but your second in command launches a coup d'etat against you and succeeds.

I wish for a Star Forge.

Granted, but Revan takes it back and kills you for your trouble.

I wish for a weapon of mass destruction, which could be shot out of a water gun.

Granted but the pump breaks and its unusable,

I wish for a 2nd wish

Granted, but it gets corrupted twice as badly.

I wish for a fully functional teleportation device.

Granted but you teleport into a wall.

I wish for a toothpick.

Granted, but it snaps and gets embedded in your gum.

I wish for a letter-opening knife.

Granted, but it fails at opening letters.

I wish for a gold pocket watch with a chain.

Granted, but the gold is actually only painted plastic and the watch doesn't work, and the chain is string.

I wish for a rope.

Granted, but someone strangles you with the rope.

I wish for a solid gold plane that could fly.

Granted, but it doesn't fly well, and crashes, killing everyone inside.
Mwahaha.

I wish for a device which lets me move time forward or backward.

Granted, but you can only go forward and backward 1 minute and has a cooldown of 8 weeks.

I wish I had a robot.

Granted, but it is based on the personality of a troll.
I wish for Metta World Peace to change the Peace to Violence

Granted, but then he suddenly becomes peaceful, thus making his name meaningless.

I wish for a pound of feathers.

Granted, but they land on your head in bag.

I wish I was really Math.

Granted but your not very science.
I wish for a good pen.

Granted, but it has no ink.

I wish for a pencil.

Granted, but instead of a graphite point, it is lead, and someone stabs you with it.

I wish for a fountain pen.