How does Michael Buble feel when he wakes up in the morning? Bright and buble. What does Michael Buble say when he wants to frighten someone? Boo(ble)! What does Michael Buble do when he goes to the bar? He has a brew-ble. How does Michael Buble protect his valuables when he packs them away? He uses buble wrap.
How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Poke her face. What did Mozart and Beethoven turn into when they died? Decomposers.
A horse walks into the bar. The bartender wonders why there is a horse in a bar and makes it his mighty stead. A week later the horse is sent to the glue factory.
What did German say in Koeninsberg? - They are Russian us! What did Finn say in Raate road? - Lets Finnish them!
This was originally in the Master Chief vs. Commander Shepard thread, but I thought it should go here as well.
There is a sinking boat in the middle of the Pacific, an Arab, an American and an Indian are in the water. A shark comes, and dashes straight for the American, and eats him. Shark swims back, and eats the Arab. The shark comes back a third time, and when he saw the Indian, he stopped, paused for a moment and the Indian asks "Why haven't you eaten me?". The shark replies "I ate one of you last year, and my ass is still burning."
A horse walks into a bar, and the barman says "Why the long face?" The horse replies: "Im deeply troubled by the anthropomorphic aspects of my existence and the extent to which I am now protected by law.
I sell drugs to fat people. It sounds better than, "I work at McDonald's." How can you recognise a French war veteran? Sunburned armpits. The French obviously had something to do with creating Twitter. After all, there's a lot of retweets. What should you do if you see a pair of bluetits? Let go of her throat.
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. Tere likes to fuck children, dogs and watermelons.
a priest, a rabbi, and abe lincoln walk in to a bar, the bartender looks at them and says "what is this? some kind of joke?"
Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Wow, it's really hot in here." The other muffin responds by saying, "HOLY SHIT A TALKING MUFFIN!" A priest, a rabbi, and Hitler walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?" What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? a stick
What do you call a overweight puppy? A little Husky!! A man was in a car crash and lost the entire left side of his body, but don't worry, now he's all RIGHT!!! What's the difference between one yard and two yards? A FENCE!!
